EGO - the secret to understanding
Today, I happened to listen to this podcast episode from the self healers soundboard called ego stories. I've got so inspired, I grabbed a paper and pen and started to write my perspective of it which I decided to share with you all.
I feel like I gained way more understanding about what is it and why is it so hard not to identify ourselves with it.
It really landed well for me and I feel I am adding some more effective tools to my life skills tool belt.
Adding tools is valuable for learning and developing on how to make sure I am the one in charge of my life. Not my ego.
A great reminder.
So I decided to share this wisdom with you all as you could find this helpful on your way.
So EGO is a part of our identity which is created and based on the stories we are telling ourselves.
The beliefs we decided to trust to about who we are.
For example, the most common one for most of my clients, myself included is > I am NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
The EGO, an inner child protector.
The “I” identity.
The ego itself is not good or bad - it just is.
The ego is a sense of ourselves, our SELF-WORTH.
Self-worth is such a huge role player for our confidence.
Throughout life, we create stories about who we are based on our life experiences. Lived experiences.
Humans are great at creating and keeping alive narratives about who we BELIEVE we are.
The ego is a master in storytelling.
These narratives are, unconsciously created by what wounded us when we were little or even adults and we didn’t know how to deal with being hurt or being in pain, so we accepted them as part of ourselves.
And because the ego is scared, it’s trying to protect us so we don’t get hurt again.
And it’s trying to convince us that the stories we believed to when we were hurt it’s who we really are.
We are not.
It’s just the parts of ourselves that are hurting and are scared.
And how not get swamped by our ego?
Let's have some fun with it!
1.A fun way to realize when the ego is acting for us is to give it a name. In order to remember it is not your authentic self.
2.Compassion. Any time you react the way you don’t want to, try to remember that it’s the feeling of being hurt again, it’s that little child, terrified, acting in order to protect yourself.
And so I named mine Irene.
For example, if I’ll get reactive towards someone I can more easily realize that it wasn’t me, it was Irene, thinking I still need protection so I won’t get hurt.
But Irene is just a scared storey of my past self. She is trying to protect me. She is scared to get wounded again.
So when I am able to identify her and don't get too caught up in my emotions, I can acknowledge her and soothe her.
Thanks for protecting me Irene, but I’ll take it from here.
I know you are scared but you don’t have to be anymore because I now can take good care of myself as opposed to when I was little and couldn’t fight for myself.
I can now. Because I know these stories are not who I am anymore. These stories are what happened to me and I’ve got scared so I created this kind of protection.
And I am sure, Irene will come out many times until I convince her that I can be my own warrior in a different way.
In a way that my authentic self will feel safe to come out.
In a way, I won’t hurt others anymore, in a way that aligns with who I am becoming.
Because let's be honest, but Irene’s reactions weren't the nicest ones all of the time.
HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE
And because hurt people hurt people is such a powerful truth, I don’t want to be one of those anymore.
Because I am learning to love and trust myself and most importantly because it is proven that our stories don’t define us!
Our egos hate to be wrong.
For the ego this feeling is terrifying, it almost feels like death and that is why we get alarmed and we snap for example or start to argue and fight like there is no tomorrow.
But when we are aware that it is the ego reacting, in my case Irene, and if I get stronger and I won't let her win for once, she will shade away, eventually, as I won't give her the space to take over me.
By practicing doing so, she will get smaller and smaller and she will also understand that I am safe and that I don't need her anymore to protect me. I am no longer in danger. The story of her fear doesn't define me anymore.
What is your EGO name?
With love @alive.coaching
comments are more then welcome <3